Do you ever say to yourself  “I am not where I thought I would be, I thought I would have made it by now”.  I often do,  I thought I would be financially stable, with a loving husband, two perfect kids who were at uni and ‘doing well’.   We would be happy and drift though our daily lives able to afford nice holidays and cars. I would have no worries, be retired and I would have made IT.

But now I question what ‘IT’ actually is. 

The elusive IT.  We constantly strive for the next thing, a new dress, a fancy bag, a convertible car, a relationship with the ‘perfect’ partner, a bigger house, a different job.   So when do we actually get to the point when we say “That’s IT, I have reached IT, I have arrived at IT, there is nothing more to be done”.

What would that feel like? Utopia, bliss.   How true would that be?

What really is the definition of IT? Is mine the same as yours?  Some people may believe that having all the material trappings they could possibly dream of is IT,  but to another person that life might look vacuous, superficial, empty.  Their dreams maybe recognition for their life’s work, material things may not matter to them at all, they just want to feel valued.

So how do you feel valued, when is enough praise enough? 10 times, 20 times?  Who do you want to be valued by?

Then a further question comes to mind.   What is so important about another persons opinion of you that it would give you IT.   What would happen if they changed their mind and suddenly didn’t demonstrate their appreciation of you?  Would all your IT disappear?

As I get older I am beginning to feel what is the point of ‘stuff’.  We buy it, use it, throw it away.  When will I have enough stuff to achieve IT and how will I know?

Sometimes would be the answer.  Sometimes to get recognition is uplifting, welcome, comforting, as is stuff, a dress that makes you feel special, a footstool so you can reach the top shelf (for shorty’s like me an essential item!) a nice watch to tell the time or a camera that makes memories.

So maybe we could be happy with ‘sometimes’ because actually that is all there ever is, some times. That time, that moment when we had IT, we were IT and we may well be and have IT again.

Deborah McCabe

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